Good Intentions, Poor Execution

Today's moron was pretty bad... to the point that he almost didn't leave us room to get out of our driveway. If Jenn had seen this, she probably would had me draw "no parking" signs on their windows with soap (yes, I've done this before).

Check out how close to our driveway he is.

And here's the funny part, if any part of this can really be called funny.

He actually has a "Share the Road" license plate. I don't know if he knew he was parking in front of the house of a cycling advocate, but I suppose he thought it might be okay. Sigh.
I suppose sharing the road in this case means that he wants to share even the spots where it's illegal to park.

SO I get to mess with one of the morons!!

I had forgotten a few items at home and really need them. So I drove home at lunch, to run in and out quickly. So to my amazement when I arrive at my driveway - there is a car parked in it!!!!!!!!!!! So at first I am livid, but that changes to a screw with your mind attitude! For those of you who know me - that never goes well for the recipient. So I pull into my driveway and park. I lock the doors and go inside to wait! Within 5 minutes there is a knock. A college age girl says t me " umm, you are parked behind us and blocking us."

My response " You are parked in my driveway. I'll be leaving shortly." And I shut the door. In the background Guinness (our dog) is barking up a storm - which I encourage.

A few minutes later a knock sounds, I let Guinness bark and lunge for the door (the screen door)the young lady is back with I guess her boyfriend. They step back about foot.

The guy says "You are parked behind us and we are really late."

I respond " You are parked in My driveway."

He says " I did not want to park in the street and risk my Mom's car getting hit..."

I answer " So instead your Mom's car is being towed. You parked in my driveway - one that is inconsiderate, two it's illegal (trespassing)."

" but we're really running late.."

"Should have thought of that before parking in My driveway, I'll be leaving in awhile. I have taken pictures of your vehicle's plates and VIN number, so if there is any damage I know who to contact." I shut the door and lock it.

I give Guinness a good pet and treats, collect my items, check AC and a few other things. I go out the back, like normal, and shut the mudroom door. They are standing by their car with hangdog expressions, the girl was crying!

"Next time think before you do something illegal and inconsiderate. Next time it may not be a mad pregnant woman answering the door. Then I left, after making sure they pulled out of the driveway and took off!!

New Poster On The Blog!

I've invited my wife Jennifer to join me on this blog so she can tell the great story of today's moron. She posts as WolfPack, whereas I go as "Jamie." Go figure.

You should enjoy this one...

New Jerky Gets His... And I Didn't Even Do It. Really.

I got home from work today and my wife tells me to look out the window. New Jerky is in front of my house.... with a crumpled up hood. Hah! Someone hit him!

Later that night, New Jerky is in the driveway across the street, no longer willing to be subjected to the dangerous traffic that is the corner of Crestview and Calumet in Columbus.

I feel vindicated. And I didn't even do anything other than take a picture of his car.

Now, I can sit and await Moron #2.

New Jersey is Still There

No updates on this site for a while, but that's just because New Jerky (as my wife calls him) is still there. He's been there every morning since I posted last. So he's sort of ruining my plans to take these folks to task. But rest assured, I'm going to keep on this and let you know just who in this city can't properly read a sign.

The New Jersey Moron

So here's the first idiot we'll cover. This person has been parking in front of my house illegally for the better part of two weeks. And he parks poorly, too. This is actually one of his better parking jobs. Usually he's parked diagonally, anywhere from a foot to two feet away from the curb.

A few days ago I put a note on his car pointing out that a no-stopping zone is also a no-parking zone. That worked for a couple days... but now he's back. And his idiocy prompted this blog.

(That silver car is my wife pulling out of our driveway and probably thinking I'm a crotchedy old bastard.)

Here's his license plate number. Apparently he feels that because he supports the NJ State Police he can park anywhere. Please feel free to take appropriate action against this idiot. Especially if you're the Columbus police.