New Jerky Gets His... And I Didn't Even Do It. Really.

I got home from work today and my wife tells me to look out the window. New Jerky is in front of my house.... with a crumpled up hood. Hah! Someone hit him!

Later that night, New Jerky is in the driveway across the street, no longer willing to be subjected to the dangerous traffic that is the corner of Crestview and Calumet in Columbus.

I feel vindicated. And I didn't even do anything other than take a picture of his car.

Now, I can sit and await Moron #2.

New Jersey is Still There

No updates on this site for a while, but that's just because New Jerky (as my wife calls him) is still there. He's been there every morning since I posted last. So he's sort of ruining my plans to take these folks to task. But rest assured, I'm going to keep on this and let you know just who in this city can't properly read a sign.

The New Jersey Moron

So here's the first idiot we'll cover. This person has been parking in front of my house illegally for the better part of two weeks. And he parks poorly, too. This is actually one of his better parking jobs. Usually he's parked diagonally, anywhere from a foot to two feet away from the curb.

A few days ago I put a note on his car pointing out that a no-stopping zone is also a no-parking zone. That worked for a couple days... but now he's back. And his idiocy prompted this blog.

(That silver car is my wife pulling out of our driveway and probably thinking I'm a crotchedy old bastard.)

Here's his license plate number. Apparently he feels that because he supports the NJ State Police he can park anywhere. Please feel free to take appropriate action against this idiot. Especially if you're the Columbus police.

The Scene...

My wife and I own a house in Columbus. Clintonville, to be precise. And in front of my house is a no-stopping zone. It extends from the other side of my neighbors driveway to the left of my front door all the way to the stop sign at the corner of Calumet and Crestview.

For those of you not familiar with Clintonville streets, they are very narrow, and jam-packed with cars parked on either side. Usually only one car can get down at a time, so cars have to be patient and helpful to each other in getting clear when a spot is available on either side. At the end of the street, they try to keep one side of the street (the side my house is on) clear. This is so one car can be stopped at the stop sign there, and another car has room to turn off of Calumet. It's also so that the four houses near the end of the street that have driveways (including mine) can get into and out of them safely. To facilitate that, the city put up no-stopping signs.

This one is to the left of my house, if you're looking at the road. In the above picture, it's the one prominently in front. It clearly states that there is no stopping at any time, from the location of this sign all to the west.









This one is to the right of my house, just before the stop sign. Note the arrows on this "No Stopping Any Time" sign - they point both ways... that means no stopping anywhere along Crestview all the way back to the previous sign.

On the other side of Calumet, which is the cross street (the one the stop sign is in front of), is the Clintonville Community Market: a very popular locally-owned and operated organic food store.

Apparently, because the store is there, these signs mean absolutely nothing. Now I am not ranting at all about the market. Those who know me know that I absolutely love having that market there. My problem is with the mentally defective folks who think they can park wherever they want, even though that's clearly not the case.

I discuss laziness in my other blogs as well (Bangers and Mishmash and Bike Commuting in Columbus), so there's no need to go there right now.

So... you understand the situation now. On with the festival of morons.