Not Only SHOULDN'T They Park, But...(Part 2)

The second vehicle isn't quite as bad as the first, as it's at least a vehicle that is normal sized. A tad dirty, but that's neither here nor there. It's not parked even CLOSE to halfway between my driveway and the next one, but that's pretty much par for the course.

However... check out this parking job. I was always told that you tried to get as close to the curb as possible without touching it. Well... let's put it this way: if this fellow was playing that game that Harold Ramis was playing with the hot brunette in the general's house in Stripes, he'd have lost pretty darned quickly.

And here's his license plate. I've heard of bleach balloons as more fun than egging... give it a try.

Not Only SHOULDN'T They Park, But...

It's a banner day today in Moron-ville. I've had two morons out there in the space of about three hours.

The first one is this RLT (Ridiculously Large Truck). Almost in front of our driveway, though I have a difficult time imagining a place where this behemoth CAN actually park legally, outside a truck stop.

I have a theory about such trucks... it states that the size of one's pickup is inversely proportional to the length of one's... you get the rest. I'm not sure what that has to do with being a moron parking in front of my house, but it's something I felt like sharing.

Not only doesn't he park properly... he doesn't park well. Check out the angle at which he's pointing at the neighbor's house.

Here's his plate number. I wonder if he can read it himself? He obviously can't read street signs. Four numbers and three letters might be too much for him.

Bad Parking in a Thunderstorm

It's been while since I posted here, but that doesn't mean that there haven't been morons. No, and here's the latest example. This fellow apparently doesn't think much of the law at all - not only is he parked in our no-stopping zone, he's not far enough away our driveway to be safe. Sigh.

I ran out during a lull in the rainstorm we're having here to get this one... thunder rolling down, rain sprinkling as the weather catches its breath and recovers for another pass at soaking us.

But like a true crotchety old journalist I didn't spare any expense to get you the story... of a moron in front of my house. I hope my sacrifice is appreciated - you don't get hard-hitting journalism like this on Fox News, do you? Heh!

I Got Ticketed For This Once...

Here's the latest moron. Yeah, he's parked in front of my house, which is illegal, but he's also pointed the wrong way. Apparently this is also illegal in Columbus, which I discovered when I first moved to Clintonville (my previous house didn't have a no-stopping zone in front of it).

He's not even parked particularly well. He's pretty far from the curb and everything. At least he's not so close to my driveway that he's blocking access. Otherwise, he's none too smart.

So... egg him. Or maybe I'll use my new gift my wife got me... a container of glass chalk. Nice "no parking" signs on his windows oughta learn him.

Post-Blizzard Moron

Today's moron is special. As in special needs, or needs a special helmet.

As I was helping my wife and kids get in to the house after arriving home from work and daycare, I noticed a big gold pickup parking in front of my house. Keep in mind that Columbus has just been hit by a blizzard that left 20.4 inches of snow in about 36 hours. So the road in front of the house is pretty rutted with snow. This pickup had to work HARD to get into that illegal parking spot.

He was still there when Duncan and I took the dog out for a walk. He had to have backed and forthed a few times to get into the spot. Amazing... that much trouble to park illegally. The mind truly boggles.

Seriously. Look at those ruts! The only reason he wasn't parked on my tree lawn is that he'd have ended up at a 45-degree angle to the street and possibly have tipped over.

I'm surprised he's not still stuck out there.

Anyway, here's his license plate. Put more snow in the bed of his truck if you see it.